Identity is your very unique self, built by everything and everyone that has ever touched you.
Your opinion is formed by the opinion of others. Your knowledge is a collection by facts and believes of the people you met in your life. And your own believes are neither greater nor smaller than the reality of your surroundings.
There is no need for a plan B if you truly believe in something. If you believe in god for example, you don’t have a backup god in case « the first god doesn’t work out ». Your believe system creates the shapes and limits of your life. That’s why you will never be able to experience something that you deep down don’t believe in.
Your believes are your reality.
This is why it’s so important to really make sure you consume the « right » content. There are many stories in this world. Every story is based on a different believe system, built by individual experiences. It’s your job to choose wisely which stories you want to consume.
It sounds easy, but it’s actually not that easy to just « choose your believes ». If you practiced a lifestyle based on internalized believes for long enough, it may be not possible to just change that believe with only your choice, because you may not be able to define the original believe that creates certain circumstances in your life. I am talking about anxieties and other psychological clinical pictures.
Your believes not only define how much you can grow, they also define how deep you can fall.
I have learned from a psychotherapist that intuition is actually just unconscious knowlege we’ve collected on our journey so far. Some things you know consciously, like « I’ve learned that if I throw a rock at this window it will break ». But there are other things you’ve learned, unconsciously. For example, « to get the love and attention to survive and be healthy, I have to cry and tell everybody ab big dramatic story of how bad my situation is ». Or « it’s not possible that there is someone that wants to be with me and stay with me and truly loves me no matter what, so I have to find a reason why my relationship is threatened or not working out and it has to be a reason I am not responsible for because that would mean that I have quit this relationship for no valid reason ».
To be really able to create your own identity, you need inspiration from other people. You need help, and that’s okay. It’s actually even a good thing, because exchange is not only about creating your own special skills and strenghs, it is also about working on your weaknesses and getting stronger in areas you struggle. This is not possible if you’re only interested in your own ideas. If you’re not ready to take advice and ideas from other people to create your path, you will not grow healthy.
The goal is not to be the most different of all. The goal is to just be you. And whatever « you » is influenced by and created of, it’s enough.